Engagement Party Gift Etiquette: Here's everything you need to know | With Clarity (2024)

By: WC Editorial Team Read Time: 3 mins Engagement Rings

May 26, 2023

Engagement parties are a wonderful opportunity to celebrate a couple's commitment to one another. It's fun to get together with friends and family, have a few drinks and light refreshments, and get ready to kick off wedding festivities!

Engagement parties usually aren't as common as a wedding or bridal shower, so it's understandable if you're unfamiliar with the etiquette. Aside from questions like what do I wear to an engagement party, guests may also wonder, do I need to bring a gift to an engagement party?

The quick answer is no. However, we've got you covered if you want the full breakdown of engagement party gifting etiquette!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

What is an Engagement Party Anyway? Do I Need to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party? What is Proper Engagement Gift Etiquette? When to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party When Not to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party So You're Bringing a Gift…

What is an Engagement Party Anyway?

When a couple gets engaged, word gets out fast. Friends and family often wish to celebrate the couple and begin the road to the wedding with a fun get-together. An engagement party can be a great way to get everyone together to wish the happy couple well and enjoy one another company. It can also be a fantastic opportunity for the extended relatives and friends of both people in the relationship to meet. Usually, within a few months of the proposal, a couple will have their engagement party.

Do I Need to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party?

You won't be barred entry if you come to an engagement party without a gift. However, some guests feel more comfortable bringing a small gift rather than showing up empty-handed. Either way, no rule says gifts are required for engagement parties.

When you consider how many other events leading up to, during, and sometimes after you'll be obligated to bring a gift to, it can make sense to save your money and give the couple your presence at an engagement party.

What is Proper Engagement Gift Etiquette?

As mentioned, the happy couple often only wants you at the event and not a lavish gift. Suppose you've received an invitation to this special occasion. In that case, you're likely someone the engaged couple loves, cherishes, and desires to share the joyous moment with.

Nevertheless, it can be nerve-wracking to not know if gifts are required. Unlike weddings and wedding showers, where gift registries are included on the invite, most engagement party invitations don't allude to whether gifts are expected.

There will always be those that love to spoil the soon-to-be-newlyweds and bring a small gift whenever a get-together happens. But, if you're saving your pennies for a proper wedding gift, some sleuthing may be needed to determine if arriving at the engagement party sans gift will be a social faux pas.

When to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party

Consider this your checklist for when you should bring a gift to the engagement event.

  • There is a registry included in the invitation. While this doesn't often happen, it's an obvious gift obligation.
  • The party is between close friends and family only. An intimate affair will often be full of those desiring to spoil the couple with presents; showing up empty-handed could be awkward.
  • The event has been carefully planned and is an upscale affair with a formal invitation. Usually, if you receive a formal invite to a hosted event at a venue, gifts are a thoughtful way to show appreciation for how much the couple values the party and your presence.
  • There is catering or an open bar. Similarly, if the couple is paying for niceties like these, it's respectful and kind to acknowledge their generosity with a thoughtful gift.
  • The couple is known for their formality and traditionalism. If the couple is customary, they'll usually admire a gift as it suits their appreciation for pomp and circ*mstance.

When Not to Bring a Gift to an Engagement Party

If you meet any of the below criteria, a gift likely isn't required or necessarily recommended.

  • A last-minute invite to a spontaneous affair doesn't mean you need to rush out for a gift to bring.
  • An informal get-together that's unofficial and casual doesn't warrant a present. Still, you can decide if you're more comfortable bringing something than not.
  • A huge event with lots of people typically means the couple doesn't expect a pile of gifts from all the attendees. You won't be singled out for not bringing a gift.
  • If the couple asks you not to bring a gift, or if they're laid-back and the opposite of customary.
  • If you're expected to cover your meal and or drinks, consider this (along with your presence) your monetary contribution to the engagement party.

So You're Bringing a Gift…

If you decide you're bringing a gift, don't feel that you have to splurge. There will be plenty of opportunities to get the couple a more significant, more lavish gift. And, at these events, a bigger gift will often be expected. For the engagement party, think of something thoughtful, practical, and on the smaller side. A bottle of champagne, a bouquet of flowers, or even a couple's journal can represent a token of your appreciation for the couple's invite.

An excellent rule of thumb is that the gift should cost around one-third of what you expect to spend on your wedding gift. Because this amount is likely not extravagant or expensive, chances are they won't be asking for the same thing on their wedding registry. At this stage, small, sentimental, and budget-friendly gifts are the way to go!

Every gift type has its own time and place. Furthermore, some events, like an engagement party, may not require a gift at all. If you've been invited to a couple's wedding kick-off celebration, look for cues to guide the gift-giving etiquette. Chances are your presence will be all that is expected.

FAQs

Is it mandatory to carry a gift when going to an engagement party?

Engagement parties often don’t require a gift unless the event is formal and provides refreshments or a gift registry is included with the invite.

What is the best gift for an engagement party?

Small, thoughtful, and practical gifts are best for engagement parties. Such as a bottle of champagne, a sweet card, or a wedding-related novelty such as a candle or mug.

Would it be considered rude to go to an engagement party without any gift?

Unless you feel gifts are particularly requested or expected, many couples do not expect a gift at their engagement party.

Engagement Party Gift Etiquette: Here's everything you need to know | With Clarity (2024)

FAQs

What is the gift protocol for an engagement party? ›

There are no formal guidelines that dictate how much a guest should spend on an engagement party gift. The amount solely depends on an individual's budget. Some popular engagement party gifts include a handwritten card, money, toasting flutes, a couples massage, and a nice bottle of wine or Champagne.

What is an appropriate money gift for an engagement party? ›

It's a totally acceptable gesture to give cash to a newly engaged couple—just pair it with a thoughtful congratulatory card (we'll help you pen a message). Like a traditional engagement gift, $50 to $75 is an appropriate cash gift amount for an engagement party.

Are people expected to bring gifts to an engagement party? ›

Bringing a gift to the celebration is not a requirement, but doing so can be a sweet gesture and a way to show your heartfelt congratulations. In some cases, guests may bring gifts to the engagement party as a way to share their happiness and excitement with the couple, but it's ultimately a personal decision.

Do you have to give favors at an engagement party? ›

While engagement gifts are a nice touch, they are not mandatory (except in some religious and cultural circles) and should be left to the discretion of each guest.

What are the rules for an engagement party? ›

There's no set engagement party etiquette on this, but here is our advice: Keep it small- to medium-sized. You don't need to include everyone who will be on your wedding guest list. Keep the party intimate and special by inviting your closest friends and family members to raise a glass to your impending nuptials.

What to wear as a guest to an engagement party? ›

If the engagement party invitation calls for semi-formal, black tie, or smart casual, dress accordingly. If it doesn't specify, however, co*cktail is the most common dress code attire for an engagement party—which means a dress that falls at (or just slightly above) the knee, finished with heels and refined accessories.

How much money do you give someone for their engagement? ›

We recommend spending the biggest portion on the wedding gift. Ideally, it should always be the biggest of the gifts. So if, for example, your budget is $200, then spend $100 on the wedding gift, $50 on the engagement gift and $50 on the hen's gift.

Is $500 a good wedding gift? ›

Wedding experts do, however, advise starting at $100. From there, you may want to adjust up to $500 based on factors such as your relationship with the couple, your budget and the cost of your attendance at the wedding.

How much to spend on an engagement party? ›

"The cost for these varies in region, but in general, you will expect to spend anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 plus." It's also worth pointing out that some venues will have a booking fee in addition to a minimum that you need to spend on food and beverage. Make sure you read the contract carefully before you sign.

Who is expected to pay for an engagement party? ›

It's an old tradition that the bride's parents host (and pay for) the engagement party, but just like the tradition of the bride's parents paying for the entire wedding, this rule is fading away these days.

Do you bring a hostess gift to an engagement party? ›

It's also a nice touch for the couple to bring a thoughtful host/hostess gift to those who are honoring them with a celebration," Gottsman says. "And the couple should also immediately send out thank-you notes to the host as well as the guests who brought them gifts.”

What is gift etiquette for engagement party? ›

An engagement gift is really a goodhearted gesture of affection, and it need not be expensive or elaborate. Something simple such as a cookbook, picture frame, or a good bottle of wine - intended to help the couple establish a collection - makes a great engagement gift.

Is it rude to not do party favors? ›

No, you don't need to feel bad for not having party favors. I'm sure that most parents will understand that such a celebration costs an arm and a leg and that the party favors are just a gesture.

Who throws engagement party etiquette? ›

Traditionally, the engagement party is hosted by the bride's parents, but friends of the bride and groom and other relatives may want to organize the gathering as well. The couple may opt to have two or more parties: one for relatives and family friends, for instance, and another for their own friends.

How much money do you give for an engagement? ›

You should spend less on the engagement gift than you would on the wedding gift, so the first thing to do might be to figure out your budget for each. For example, if you want to spend $150 all up, then save $100 for the wedding and only spend $50 on the engagement gift.

Is it customary to give an engagement party? ›

Is it normal to have an engagement party? While some couples choose not to have an engagement party, they are very common—especially with engagements lasting longer than one year. Couples planning a destination wedding, or planning an engagement longer than 18 months typically throw a more formal party.

Who pays for an engagement party? ›

Traditionally, the bride's parents would pay for the entire engagement party. But like everything else related to weddings, times have changed! Nowadays, it's much more common for couples to cover their own expenses or split the cost with their families.

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