An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (2024)

It looks like a congratulations is in order! Now that your proposal has taken place, it's time to shift your focus to another exciting task; planning your engagement party. An engagement party is a wonderful excuse to get your friends and families together in one room and celebrate this monumental time in your lives. Sure, you’ll want to preserve the significance of your wedding day, however your upcomingparty provides an excellent opportunity to kick off your celebrations as you mean to go on. In this engagement party guide, we dive into engagement party etiquette and offer some guidance when it comes to planning your event. From invites, to food, dresses to venues, we’ll share some of our best advice and cover some helpful FAQs.

Your engagement party - your time to shine

At this special time in your lives it’s really all about you - make the most of it! Now you’ve got yourengagement ring and you’re looking forward to your upcoming engagement party, hens party, wedding and honeymoon, there are a lot of exciting times ahead. But exciting plans means lots of planning. When should your wedding be? Who is your maid of honour? Where should you go for your honeymoon?

Our best advice is - slow down! It's important to prioritise and tackle one task at a time. So, before diving into extensive future plans spanning the next two years, it's wise to first focus on organising your engagement party. Embrace this thrilling moment of being newly engaged and relish in the joy it brings! Once you've fully immersed yourself in this experience, you'll be ready to carefully contemplate the subsequent stages.

So first things first - let’s plan the perfect engagement party. Unsure where to begin or what steps to take? In this engagement party guide, we offer you all the engagement party etiquette and information you need. Give it a little read, and you’ll soon be well on your way to celebrating the exciting news with your closest loved ones.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (1)

Basic engagement party etiquette

Whether you're in the process of organising an engagement party or have only recently become engaged, it's likely that you have some questions about your upcoming party. The important thing to remember is, your engagement party is for you as a couple and so the priority should be on your enjoyment. However, there are a number of unspoken rules and traditions for engagement parties that you’ll most likely want to know more about.

Here are some common elements and things that often happen at an engagement party:

  1. Toasts and speeches: Seeing as you just decided to spend your lives together, you might want to commemorate the occasion with some toasts and speeches. Typically, you and your partner might say a few words, as well as your parents.
  2. Cake cutting: Although this is quite similar to that at a wedding reception, cutting and sharing a cake can be a symbolic gesture during the engagement party. This is totally optional and can feel too formal for some people.
  3. Gift-giving: Guests may bring gifts or tokens to celebrate the engagement. These gifts are typically smaller in scale compared to wedding gifts.
  4. Socialising and mingling: This is most likely the ultimate goal of an engagement party. It’s the perfect opportunity to introduce people to those they might see later at the wedding. Meanwhile, it gives the couple's families a chance to get to know each other better. Of course it’s also about having fun!
  5. Engagement announcement and photos: If you’re not much of a public speaker, you could do a brief yet official announcement of the engagement, along with sharing some engagement photos; perhaps printed or on a slideshow.
  6. Music and dancing: Depending on the atmosphere and preferences of the couple, there may be music and dancing to create a joyful ambiance.
  7. Food and drinks: Whether it's a full meal or simply some snacks, canapés and drinks, it’s common at engagement parties for the couple to provide refreshments.
  8. Games and activities: Although it’s not necessary, some engagement parties incorporate games or activities to entertain guests and to create a casual and lively atmosphere.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (2)

Engagement party FAQs

Your engagement party is a chance to celebrate and share the excitement of the engagement, and it’s yours to design. So as you begin to plan your party, feel free to customise the event to reflect your personal style and preferences. If you are stuck however or you need a little more information about engagement party etiquette, we’ve got you covered in the rest of this article.

First thing’s first - do you need to throw an engagement party?

Is an engagement party obligatory? Certainly not. Throwing an engagement party is of course not a mandatory part of the wedding process. Whether or not to have an engagement party is a personal choice that depends on your preferences, circ*mstances, and naturally your budget. Some reasons for not planning an engagement party might include; having a short period between engagement and wedding and having family and friends a long distance away (and preferring that they make the effort to visit for your bigger celebration!). You might also just have lofty plans for your wedding day and only enough time to plan the one event.

When do you throw an engagement party?

Whenever you have time - but normally within a few months of becoming engaged. The timing of an engagement party can vary depending on personal preferences and circ*mstances. Following your engagement, you may enjoy simply celebrating together as a couple and not wanting the hassle of planning a party. You might also prefer to have a party in the summer, if your engagement happened during the winter months. Ultimately, choose a date that works well for you and your loved ones. It’s as simple as that!

What kind of venue should you use?

When choosing a venue for your engagement party, you’ll need to consider a few things. For example, the size of your guest list, your budget, and the desired atmosphere for the event will all have an input into your final decision.

A little stuck for ideas? Here’s some to get you on your way:

  1. At a private residence: Hosting the engagement party at your own home or a family member's home can create an intimate and personal setting. This is a particularly good idea if you know someone with lots of space or a great garden. It is also a cost-effective option!
  2. Restaurant: Renting a private room in a restaurant provides a convenient option and helps you share your personality with your group. Whilst it is a little pricier than other options, it can be tailored to meet your expectations and is time effective (you don’t have to plan much).
  3. Outdoor venues: Bring on the summer engagement party! Consider parks, gardens, or rooftop spaces for picturesque backdrops and casual outdoor gatherings.
  4. Community centres or event spaces: An affordable option and also one great for winter weather, community centres of event spaces allow for an intimate setting at a lower cost. You can also decorate to your liking and choose how you’d like to handle catering.
  5. Unique venues: Venues that align with your interests and personalities, such as art galleries, vineyards, or historic landmarks can be a great choice. These venues can add a distinctive touch to your engagement party and will make them unforgettable.

Who should you invite to your engagement party?

Typically, couples invite their close friends and their immediate family as well as extended family members where they see fit. Of course, there are no exact rules to follow and if you want to invite your colleagues, mentors, accountant or whoever else - then do it! One thing to keep in mind is to keep the guest list manageable, considering your budget, venue capacity, and desired atmosphere. Invite those people who will genuinely enjoy celebrating this milestone with you.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (3)

Do I need to send formal invitations?

While sending formal invitations for an engagement party is not a strict requirement, it is generally considered a thoughtful gesture. Plus, it can help set the tone for the event as well as the wedding which follows. Formal invitations provide important details and make your guests feel more special and involved. Engagement invitations also provide your guests with a memento from your event.

Browseengagement invitations here.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (4)

Should there be a registry for an engagement party?

It is not customary to have a registry specifically for an engagement party, mostly because gift giving is a traditional part of a wedding celebration. Unlike a wedding where guests typically give gifts, engagement parties tend to be more focused on purely celebrating a couple's recent engagement.

However, if you do receive inquiries from guests about gift suggestions or preferences, you might like to give some guidance. Guests may choose to bring small tokens of congratulations or heartfelt cards. Meanwhile, a normal gift to receive at an engagement party might be a bottle of champagne or some flowers, but typically nothing more.

Are there speeches at an engagement party?

An engagement is a huge milestone in your life, so speeches are naturally a part of the event. They provide an opportunity for close family members and friends to express their joy, share anecdotes, and offer well wishes to the engaged couple. Typically, the parents of the couple or perhaps even other family members - such as siblings - may give speeches. And since it’s your event, you might like to say a few words, expressing your gratitude and excitement. But don’t fret! The decision to have speeches and who gives them ultimately depends on the preferences of the couple and the overall atmosphere of the party. Don’t feel the need to give a speech? No problem. Your guests are here to celebrate with you and that’s all that matters.

If I invite someone to my engagement party, should they also be invited to the wedding?

A common questions surrounding engagement party etiquette centres on whether your engagement party guests should also be invited to the wedding. In other words, if you invite someone to your engagement, will they expect to be invited to the wedding?

When you extend an invitation to someone for your engagement, it carries a meaningful message that they hold a special position in your life and you desire their presence moving forwards. Consequently, it's crucial to acknowledge the potential expectation that arises from inviting them to the engagement, as they might anticipate an invitation to the wedding. Nevertheless, it's worth noting that each situation is distinct, and the outcome hinges on the specific dynamics and connections involved. Try to foster open and honest communication with everyone from the beginning, and you’ll avoid any potential conflict.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (5)

What should we wear to our engagement party?

Picking out an outfit is always fun, and it’s especially exciting when it’s for an engagement party. Attire for your engagement party varies based on your chosen style and the level of formality. Consider the venue and theme, opting for relaxed outfits for casual gatherings (outdoors, at someone’s house, at a community centre) and maybe more formal attire for fancy venues (at a restaurant, at a winery). You might also want to coordinate your outfit with your partner for a cohesive look whilst staying true to your personal style. Remember, comfort and confidence are the most important things! Wear something that makes you feel special and celebratory on your engagement day.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (6)

Should we provide catering?

In short, yes, but it doesn’t have to be expensive or extravagant. From low key picnics to fine dining three course meals, everyone decides to do something different at their engagement party. For yours, you’ll want to base your decision on factors like budget, guest count, desired atmosphere, and personal preferences. Start by assessing your budget and explore alternatives if it's limited. Note that for larger guest lists, professional catering can ease the workload and give you time to focus on other aspects of the event. Keeping things super casual? You could also hold a pot luck dinner and share the effort with friends and family.

Elevate your engagement party with wedding stationery from Peppermint Press

We understand that an engagement party is a once in a lifetime opportunity that many want to be special. Choose an engagement party sign, engagement party invitations or other stationery items by Peppermint Press and impress guests with a tasteful and cohesive event. Our high quality products can be adapted to suit your taste and will help you achieve the look you’re after on the day.

Browse our collections here.

An engagement party guide: etiquette and FAQs (2024)

FAQs

What is proper etiquette for an engagement party? ›

The traditional rules of etiquette dictate that guests invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. However, the guest list will likely be shorter. Often the idea is to make this a more intimate event than the wedding itself. But this is no longer the only accepted approach—times have changed!

What is supposed to happen at an engagement party? ›

Socialising and mingling: This is most likely the ultimate goal of an engagement party. It's the perfect opportunity to introduce people to those they might see later at the wedding. Meanwhile, it gives the couple's families a chance to get to know each other better. Of course it's also about having fun!

Who usually pays for an engagement party? ›

Whoever hosts the engagement party is usually responsible for covering the costs. Historically, it's been the bride's parents. However, as celebrations for engagements have evolved, Mae notes that she often sees both parents paying a portion of the total bill. Some couples even chip in.

Who gives toast at an engagement party? ›

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

The groom's father will give a toast following the father of the bride. After these first two toasts, the floor is open to anyone, but usually the best man and maid (or matron) of honor, if already chosen, are next. Then, other family members and friends can follow.

Are gifts expected at an engagement party? ›

Guests are not required to bring gifts to an engagement party, but it is a nice gesture to bring a gift when attending this type of celebration. There are no formal guidelines that dictate how much a guest should spend on an engagement party gift. The amount solely depends on an individual's budget.

How many people should attend an engagement party? ›

Everyone at the engagement party should be invited to the wedding, but not everyone invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the engagement party. Typically, engagement parties are more intimate than weddings, with a range of 10 to 75 people.

How many hours should an engagement party be? ›

In terms of the length of the engagement party, couples typically choose a two to four-hour window. If you do not plan to serve a full meal, it's best to choose a time frame in between typical mealtimes, such as 2-5 p.m.

What is an appropriate cash gift for an engagement party? ›

It's a totally acceptable gesture to give cash to a newly engaged couple—just pair it with a thoughtful congratulatory card (we'll help you pen a message). Like a traditional engagement gift, $50 to $75 is an appropriate cash gift amount for an engagement party.

What do you wear to an engagement party? ›

If the engagement party invitation calls for semi-formal, black tie, or smart casual, dress accordingly. If it doesn't specify, however, co*cktail is the most common dress code attire for an engagement party—which means a dress that falls at (or just slightly above) the knee, finished with heels and refined accessories.

Who traditionally throws the engagement party? ›

Traditionally the engagement party is hosted by the bride's parents, but can also be given by friends of the bride and groom, or other relatives. Yes, you can have two or more parties; one for relatives and family friends, for instance, and another for your own friends.

How much should an engagement party cost? ›

"The cost for these varies in region, but in general, you will expect to spend anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 plus." It's also worth pointing out that some venues will have a booking fee in addition to a minimum that you need to spend on food and beverage. Make sure you read the contract carefully before you sign.

Do you provide food at an engagement party? ›

There are so many delicious wedding food ideas to serve on the big day. Engagement parties, though, should really not mimic the wedding menu. Instead, engaged couples and their host should offer a mixture of yummy finger food and appetizers that suit the theme and time of day.

Do you have speeches at an engagement party? ›

As part of the celebrations, it's common for there to be speeches at an engagement party to thank everyone for coming.

What are the rules for an engagement party? ›

There's no set engagement party etiquette on this, but here is our advice: Keep it small- to medium-sized. You don't need to include everyone who will be on your wedding guest list. Keep the party intimate and special by inviting your closest friends and family members to raise a glass to your impending nuptials.

Do you have a cake at an engagement party? ›

It's my firm belief that it's not a party without a cake, so even if you decide to forgo a full buffet or sit-down meal, you should, at the very least invest in an engagement cake, which can feed the party goers. Popular are also afternoon tea celebrations.

How long do you stay at an engagement party? ›

Last but not least, you might be wondering how long you should stay at an engagement party. While it's optimal to stay for the entire time, some engagement parties can go on for 4-5 hours. Chianese points out that the longer you stay the better.

Do you congratulate a woman on her engagement? ›

"If you were expecting that the couple might be getting engaged or if there is a rumor going around, congratulating them is not appropriate," she says. "However, if this is confirmed officially, or if we are very close to the to-be weds and they share the happy news with us, we should congratulate them immediately."

Top Articles
Latest Posts
Article information

Author: Barbera Armstrong

Last Updated:

Views: 5936

Rating: 4.9 / 5 (59 voted)

Reviews: 90% of readers found this page helpful

Author information

Name: Barbera Armstrong

Birthday: 1992-09-12

Address: Suite 993 99852 Daugherty Causeway, Ritchiehaven, VT 49630

Phone: +5026838435397

Job: National Engineer

Hobby: Listening to music, Board games, Photography, Ice skating, LARPing, Kite flying, Rugby

Introduction: My name is Barbera Armstrong, I am a lovely, delightful, cooperative, funny, enchanting, vivacious, tender person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.