Feeling like your busy lives are pushing you and your spouse apart? You're not alone. In the whirlwind of careers, kids, and daily routines, quality time together can become a forgotten luxury. The 1-1-1-1 marriage rule offers a simple yet effective framework to prioritise your relationship and nurture lasting connections.
Content creator Amy Earle introduced the 1-1-1-1 rule in an Instagram post and said “We’ve been married 29 years and I think this is brilliant for any couple who is looking for a framework. There’s obviously exceptions to rules, but this pattern would be great to follow to keep connection alive. If there’s one thing we’ve learned the last 29 years, it’s to prioritize our relationship above everything else, including the kids.”
What is the 1-1-1-1 rule?
This rule breaks down into four key commitments:
1 Week vacation alone each year: A yearly child-free getaway allows you to reconnect as a couple, rekindle romance, and focus on shared interests outside of parenthood.
1 Date night every week: Ditch the distractions! A dedicated date night, free from phones and work worries, fosters communication, keeps the spark alive, and reminds you why you fell in love.
1 Intimate connection every week: Physical intimacy is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship. This doesn't have to be about grand gestures; prioritize regular intimacy to maintain emotional and physical closeness.
1 Screen-free conversation every night: In our tech-driven world, carve out 30 minutes each night for uninterrupted conversation. Put away the screens and truly listen to each other.
Benefits of the 1-1-1-1 rule:
Prioritises quality time: By dedicating specific times for connection, the 1-1-1-1 rule ensures your relationship gets the attention it deserves.
Strengthens individuality: The solo vacation allows each partner to maintain their sense of self and return with renewed energy for the relationship.
Boosts intimacy: Regular date nights and initiating intimacy foster emotional and physical closeness, keeping the spark alive.
Enhances communication: Daily, screen-free conversations create space for open communication and a deeper understanding of each other's thoughts and feelings.
Prevents resentment: The intentional focus on the relationship helps avoid the feeling of being taken for granted and fosters appreciation for each other.
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