The ugly world of wedding shaming and how to recognise it.
‘Wedding Shaming’ or making fun of someone else’s wedding just because it differs with your taste, has become a real thing in today's world, I’ve definitely been guilty of turning my nose up at someone else’s ideas just because I wouldn’t do it, and it's not cool. As a platform that champions the weird, wonderful, and unique, I feel like it’s equally important that we respect other people’s choices too. With so many people feeling the pressure to have the 'perfect' wedding day, it can be easy for us to make judgments about other people's wedding decisions when we don't understand them.
Sound familiar?
If you find yourself falling into that trap, just flip-reverse it, and you don’t like it, do you? It doesn’t feel good when other people judge your choices so don’t do it yourself!
Keep your opinions to yourself.
It’s that age-old saying, ‘if you haven’t got anything nice to say’… which seems to disappear into thin air when it comes to weddings, right?! People love to share their unsolicited advice and opinions. Sadly, most wedding shamers will keep their opinions from the couple in question but share them with anyone else who will listen.
Mean huh?
Just don’t do it.
In an ideal world, we would all love each other’s weddings down to the very last detail but it’s not really about you, it’s about the couple and what they want/like/can afford. You don’t need to share your distaste with anyone.
Having an alternative wedding doesn’t make you cooler than anyone else.
As much as we are here for alternative weddings and Un-Weddings, the coolest thing about any wedding is the fact that 2 people love each other enough to make this commitment in the first place! In essence, all weddings are cool, and the rest just comes down to a matter of individual tastes and budgets. The Un-Wedding exists to encourage couples and give them the confidence to do things differently and make new traditions but that doesn’t mean it’s ok to throw shade at those who choose to go down the traditional route. It’s up to them just as your wedding is up to you!
What to do if someone makes you feel crap about your wedding?
It starts with ‘F’ and ends with ‘OFF’!
But seriously, this one is easier to handle if an unsolicited opinion has been shared with you, to your face. It’s a polite ‘thanks for your opinion but…’. However, if you’ve heard it through the grapevine that someone has been sharing negative opinions about your wedding then I would be rethinking that guestlist (if they are on it) … I guess you know who’s gonna be sitting next to windy Uncle Phil now?! Or, you could pull them up on it, privately. Let them know how sh*t their little tuppence has made you feel at an already stressful and emotional time.
The only ‘should’ when it comes to weddings is that they should be fun! Life is too short to worry about what others think; couples can celebrate their love however they want without fear of judgment from others. Whether you're planning a traditional wedding or an alternative celebration, no one should be made to feel crap about their choices.
I know you hear me!
