By: WC Editorial Team Read Time: 3 mins Jewelry
August 8, 2023
Weddings are filled with traditions like bridal showers. A bridal shower is a daytime celebration of the bride to be. Friends gather to play games, enjoy delicious food and give their beloved friend some gifts.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Bridal Shower Etiquette Dos Don'ts
Bridal Shower Etiquette
Usually the bridal shower is hosted by the maid of honor, close friends, bridal attendants, or bridesmaids. Family members, including mothers and mothers-in-law, traditionally shouldn't host showers. If multiple showers are in the works, then the shower hosts should communicate regarding the guest lists.
Showers typically occur a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding. The bride can help with the guest list, but the list shouldn't include people that aren't invited to the wedding. In terms of what to wear for the shower, people typically dress up. Consider wearing something that you'd wear to brunch or lunch.
We compiled a list of dos and don'ts to help you plan a bridal shower.
Dos
- Do pick a date that isn't close to the wedding. Pick an early date a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding. You can always check with the “VIPs” on the guest list (mothers, sisters, family, bridal party, etc.) to see if there's a date that works best for that group before sending out invitations.
- Do create a guest list. Consult the bride regarding the guest list. If the bride is having multiple showers, communicate with the other host to make sure the same people aren't invited to the same showers. It's ok if the bridal party is invited to both. Have the bride review the full guest list before you send out invitations.
- Do plan an activity or bridal shower games (if the bride wants them). Check with the bride before you get too carried away to make sure she wants games and ask if there's anything that would make her uncomfortable. Simple games can make the shower fun and help guests get to know each other.
- Do pay attention to bridal shower décor. If your shower has a theme, it can help you select the decorations and other components for the event. Popular themes include a tea party, spa day, or a Parisian getaway. If you plan to hand out favors, the theme can help with this too.
- Do plan a menu. The shower's food depends on what time you'll have the shower and whether there's a theme. Most serve food to snack on rather than full meals. For example, if the shower is held mid-morning, have mimosas, pastries, and eggs. As you choose the menu, ask guests to let you know about any food allergies and restrictions when they RSVP. Also check with the bride for food preferences.
- Do create a playlist. If you know the bride's favorite songs, make a playlist and you can always ask her for some song ideas. Add some upbeat, love-themed songs as well.
- Do send out invitations. Whether a paper invitation or an evite, send out invitations a couple months in advance especially if people are coming from out of town for the shower. If you're sending out paper invitations, save a couple for the bride as mementos.
- Do collect the bows and ribbons from the present. It's tradition to use the bows and ribbons from gifts to create a ribbon bouquet. Brides typically use this during the wedding rehearsal and then it's a fun keepsake as well.
Don'ts
- Don't confuse the bridal shower with the bachelorette party. These are two separate events. The shower is a daytime event while the bachelorette is at night and typically
- Don't post every aspect of the shower on social media. The bride might not want the shower posted everywhere on social media. It could cause issues if the guest list was small.
- Don't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. It will make it awkward to have a guest at the shower but not on the wedding list. The bride can help you with the guest list.
- Don't give raunchy gifts at the bridal shower. You don't want to make your bride (or any of her family members) uncomfortable at the shower. Save the sexy lingerie gifts for the bachelorette party instead.
- Don't feel like you have to plan the whole shower yourself. Enlist the help of the bride's friends to help with the shower. Delegate parts of the shower so you're not overwhelmed - ask what folks would like to help with.
Hopefully this list gave you some helpful dos and don'ts as you plan your next bridal shower.
FAQs
What exactly is a bridal shower?
A bridal shower is a daytime celebration of the bride’s upcoming wedding. Guests attend and typically give gifts to the bride. Showers typically occur a couple weeks to a couple months ahead of the wedding.
What to wear to a bridal shower?
People typically dress up for showers by wearing something they’d wear to brunch or lunch. You could wear a tasteful dress, blouse and dress pants, or perhaps even a sweater and leggings. Some wear jeans and a nice top.
What to write in a bridal shower card?
Write a congratulatory message and then speak from the heart. You can write words of encouragement, advice, etc.
Which are the best bridal shower gifts?
Sometimes bridal showers have themes and the gifts tie into that theme. You can also from the couple’s wedding registry.
FAQs
Since showers are intended for the bride's nearest and dearest, every shower guest must already be on the wedding guest list. Because it's understood that guests should bring a present to a shower, it's not appropriate to invite people whom you don't plan to include in the wedding.
What is supposed to happen at a bridal shower? ›
During a bridal shower, guests come together to celebrate the bride and have some fun. The event usually includes activities, games, and sometimes even a theme. Essentially, it's an opportunity for the bride's closest friends and family to show their support and celebrate as she embarks on her journey to marriage.
Who should not host a bridal shower? ›
Traditional etiquette dictates that the maid of honor—not the mother of the bride—should host the shower. Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com. Some etiquette rules were meant to fade away into oblivion, like the one about family members of the bride not hosting her bridal shower.
Are you supposed to bring gifts to a bridal shower? ›
In short, yes. If you're attending a bridal shower, you should always bring a gift with you to congratulate the bride. This is considered good bridal shower etiquette. Even if you're a part of the bridal party or wedding party, a gift is still necessary.
Who is supposed to pay for the bridal shower? ›
In short, the host is the one who pays for the bridal shower—or at least some of it. Most commonly, this is the maid of honor, but the couple's relatives, friends or even the to-be-weds themselves can all pitch in to cover the cost of the wedding shower.
Does the mother of the bride pay for the bridal shower? ›
Although once upon a time it was expected that the bride's family would foot the bridal shower bill, modern society has changed the rules. Nowadays, the person (or people) hosting the bridal shower are responsible for covering the costs associated with the shower.
How many hours should bridal shower be? ›
Bridal showers typically last 2-4 hours and are not considered an all-day event. Although, depending on the type of shower you are hosting the time can vary. Most showers will either take place in the morning and serve as a brunch, or in the afternoon served with lunch or finger foods.
Who usually throws the bride a bridal shower? ›
Today, it's common for the maid of honor or matron of honor — sometimes in conjunction with the mother of the bride — to plan the shower. However, the bridesmaids, wedding party, and the bride's family can all pitch in if necessary. Another modern trend is to make bridal showers gender inclusive.
What should you not do at a bridal shower? ›
Don'ts
- Don't confuse the bridal shower with the bachelorette party. These are two separate events. ...
- Don't post every aspect of the shower on social media. ...
- Don't invite anyone who isn't invited to the wedding. ...
- Don't give raunchy gifts at the bridal shower. ...
- Don't feel like you have to plan the whole shower yourself.
Don't wear anything too tight, sexy, or revealing. A bridal shower is not the time to flaunt your, um, assets. Since the guest list is usually all women, and since this event is technically part of the wedding festivities, keep things buttoned up.
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
The maid of honor isn't the only option, however. Anyone who is close to the bride—including her mother, sister, cousin, grandma, or future mother-in-law—can host. It used to be that immediate family members were never named as official hosts.
Do you have to give favors at a bridal shower? ›
Bridal shower favors are not required, though they are a nice thank you for your guests, says Sarah Miller, an Event Director with Paulette Wolf Events.
What is the protocol for a bridal shower? ›
"If someone is not invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to the shower." For the bridal shower, this usually includes the bridal party and the couple's family and close friends. The number of people invited depends on how large the event is intended to be.
What is a normal bridal shower gift? ›
Common bridal shower gifts include kitchenware, from small appliances or utensils to towels or dishes. Shower gifts tend to stick to the event's specific theme if it has one. A cooking class shower might require a gift of your favorite cookbook, while the hostesses of a lingerie shower will ask for, well, lingerie.
What is an appropriate cash gift for a bridal shower? ›
According to Opperman, bridal shower gifts tend to be less expensive than wedding gifts. "Many people spend around $50 to $75, whereas closer friends and family may spend upwards of $100," she says. "However, the amount you want to spend is up to you."
What to wear to a bridal shower as a guest? ›
If the event is more casual, Singla said guests "could pair a blouse and trousers, a flowy dress, or a jumpsuit." Whatever you decide to wear, aim for something photo-friendly. According to Young, this is especially key if you're family or close friends with the future bride and groom.
Who traditionally throws the bridal shower? ›
The Traditional Bridal Shower Host
On the day of, the girls run the party, making sure everything goes smoothly and that guests are taken care of. The maid of honor isn't the only option, however. Anyone who is close to the bride—including her mother, sister, cousin, grandma, or future mother-in-law—can host.
Is the man supposed to go to the bridal shower? ›
It's totally up to you and your fiancé to decide whether he will attend the bridal shower.
